I wake up once again, only because I couldn't
sleep forever even if I wanted to,
I wake up and sit on my bed wondering what to
do now, asking myself is this it?
Just another cold morning, Instant coffee and a
smoke some time later.
Life wasn't supposed to be like this, I never
meant to be this way and still here we are,
Oh no, not you it’s only me; me and these
broken shards of dreams showing it was never meant to be
Each day going through the motions with the
strangers, pretending to be the “happy me”.
My books have already left me, writing’s so
eager looking at the horizon beyond my hands that are too incapable,
Drawing was never there, still I am holding on
to it just to kill the times in your absence
Drifting away from the grasp of a world that is
too palpable.
Would've been a lie if I say you took my dreams away, as there were never any,
You only brought them back, but in broken
pieces that haunts me every night.
All the relentless tries to make it whole again
has gone in vain, as the dreams were never there, only the pain,
Walking these lonely miles, only the spear of
darkness awaits ahead on a cold, snowy and quiet street,
Someone said something about being happy and
marching as a soldier in an army fleet,
I wonder what he meant, as my mind’s twisted
and the pictures in distant are grainy and bleak,
Must be a higher purpose for all this, says a preacher with a straight smile on his face
Said never to lose faith as he didn't, who
sacrificed himself for you so that you can rest,
The words were lovely in a believers ears, as
he could hold onto them praying as if they were real,
Never to reach this darkened soul that’s been
sold for a dream and the perception of fear.
Now it’s time to pay off the debt, the
collector’s here,
The debt of the memories that I borrowed and I
know it’s the cross I’ll have to bear,
For the rest of my life in misery and despair.
