Growing Out Of You

I walk taller, straighter and more confident than ever

I’ve found myself again, and I’m changing everyday

It’s funny how I had to lose you to find myself.

Wonder what you’d say if you see me now

But that wouldn’t really matter, since you won’t

We’ve drifted far too apart from each other, in a matter of months

You taking the leaps, and I’m crawling my way away from you

With every shallow breath of the frozen soul

And with every rip of flesh that I tear apart from my frail body

I’m ripping apart our time together, and every breath that we took

As we walked the streets in the dark and I wanted to hold your hands,

Never that I thought it’d end so soon and the way it did.

Another missed opportunity of life, another chance to be with someone I could die for.

But I’m not too far away from the change, for better or for worse.

All I have left is myself and may be few more years of my life,

Its only wise to rediscover oneself when there is no other way to live,

No steps to retrace or a way to walking back to the past.

So I walk with my head held high, eyes staring ahead on the road

Laying in front of me an endless journey, the roads yet to be traveled.

I leave the pieces of my soul as I leave the old trail and find new ones.

Its easier for a soul that is tainted with earthly desires

To leave it and rediscover something new, even a soulless self

You are welcome to follow me if you want, but ill pretend I’m stronger than ever,

I will find myself, for better or for worse the change in me will grow

As I grow out of you.

To Kill a Memory

The memories in my head grow loud and strong

With every passing moment and my days of living in vain.

Darkest nights grow darker and brings forth the nightmares.

Nightmares I promised to take away from you, they are mine now.

The sleepless nights and my midnight walks,

There’s no one I can tell this story to,

So I’m writing this vague memory of mine,

For someone to find it and tell me it was worth it.

May be only for a moment, but they meant something to someone;

For a fleeting moment of desperation.

No I’m not selfless enough, just trying to get this burden off my chest and get some sleep.

I need to get away from all this and find my moment of silence; from my memories.

To forget and kill the devil in me that keeps asking for the impossible.

I’m not strong enough and asked for help,

But it was just a small puzzle piece in her life

That she could ignore and replace with something more meaningful to her.

And now I’m sitting here, my piece in my hand,

Trying to fill the gap with whatever I could find,

Some memories and meaningless thoughts.

I wish they’d go away, just like you did.

Take your memories with you as I’m willing to kill for them just to go away.

I failed to learn how to live with them.

It’s time to kill the memories,

The bitterness grows and I’m not scared to spill the blood anymore.