A coward's prayer

Pierce my heart with that sweet knife of yours, like a stranger in the dark.

I have been waiting for someone to come and help me cross this road

I am alone and too afraid to do what needs to be done.

I’ve been trying to do this for a long time now, but I’ve failed over and over again.

Because I am a coward and it hurts too much and I can’t do more than a few small cuts.

Which is barely enough to see through the soul, and I know I’ll need to do more than this,

Just to feel what you’ve felt, what you’ve been through all your life.

But I am a coward and I need help, but I can’t say it loud enough,

I am afraid someone else might hear me asking for help and I cannot let them see my weakness.

It’s only you I can trust and open up my soul like never before,

So please,

Will you come and help me this time? Just for once, will you come?

I am tired of not being able to feel anything else but pain and all the acts of living.

All these small scars are never going to be enough for me, they fade.

Just the memory will remain to remind me of the days, another day.

And a few more small cuts, a few more drinks, in the hope of feeling something new.

In the hope of building up the courage one day, yeah may be one day…..

But will you come and help me cross this road?

It’s too dark to be alone here, and the blade’s just not sharp enough,

It was always meant to turn out this way and it’s time we right this wrong,

Bring that sweet blade of yours and pierce my heart,

Let’s take a look at the life after death and maybe I’ll meet you there one day once again,

We will be different, but I’ll know it’s you, I promise;

Just bring that blade and show me how you do it,

Because it’s too dark, it hurts too much and I can’t do it alone.