If I Never See You Again

If I never see you again and this winter never ends,

On a snowy day or may be at night under the bright blue moon,

In a world that’s going further away from you.

With every breath and each passing moment

Seems like an eternity has passed between us,

And the world has collided, in a never-ending war

We struggled and fought, like other toy soldiers

And failed.

Failed to show that we cared enough to carry on and push forth,

The obstacles of our minds and our timid souls.

So if I never see you again in a world further away from you;

I’ll remember you, not just like another memory that’s just there to be forgotten with time,

And like all the others, even though there weren’t many.

May be a glimpse of past will remind me of you,

Some songs or a familiar voice; or may be a walk in the darkest night.

There’s so many to choose from, I’ll just pick any and you’ll be there.

So if I never see you again, I’ll keep my eyes closed to keep you there.

And you’ll still be in my tangled threads of memory,

Like a spider’s web, it’s hard to find the beginning and the end,

Funny things these memories, even the happiest hours bring the tears

In a lonely hour, in the hour of need.

May be I’ll never see you again and it won’t tear you apart as it’ll me.

But I wish the memories we created doesn’t bring you any pain as it does to me,

I hope our happiest hours doesn’t bring any tears for you,

And if you remember us, remember our silly talks and idle walks,

Even though the seemingly endless road has ended for me,

I hope it never does for you.

So if I never see you again, this’ll be my last letter to you and may be this’ll set me free.

To all that’s sinful

And now let me drink from this goblet,

Dipped in the sins of mankind,

There is no room for a soul without sins

In this sinful world, calling out “you’re one of us”

With every sip and with every gust of decaying innocence.

The crowd cheers on, they know they’ve won.

And one more soul is up for sale, the one born a long time ago.

No longer could it resist the temptation of such lustful acts.

So, just drink and be one with everyone and everything that’s empty and meaningless.

To be one with everyone, yes that’s the dream.

No one wants to be alone, some can withstand it better than others,

But the crumbling stones of past have proven otherwise.

There is no future in this psychological sense of time,

Only repetition of the past, as a reminder of what happened and what will.

Yet we keep dragging ourselves through this void hoping for something new,

Something new and elegant in our human eyes,

Only to find sin and greed under the veil of elegance,

All that we have cherished as pure and godly is lost,

But we are still marching on, just for the sense of being alive,

And we are nothing but sinners, because we are alive.

A coward's prayer

Pierce my heart with that sweet knife of yours, like a stranger in the dark.

I have been waiting for someone to come and help me cross this road

I am alone and too afraid to do what needs to be done.

I’ve been trying to do this for a long time now, but I’ve failed over and over again.

Because I am a coward and it hurts too much and I can’t do more than a few small cuts.

Which is barely enough to see through the soul, and I know I’ll need to do more than this,

Just to feel what you’ve felt, what you’ve been through all your life.

But I am a coward and I need help, but I can’t say it loud enough,

I am afraid someone else might hear me asking for help and I cannot let them see my weakness.

It’s only you I can trust and open up my soul like never before,

So please,

Will you come and help me this time? Just for once, will you come?

I am tired of not being able to feel anything else but pain and all the acts of living.

All these small scars are never going to be enough for me, they fade.

Just the memory will remain to remind me of the days, another day.

And a few more small cuts, a few more drinks, in the hope of feeling something new.

In the hope of building up the courage one day, yeah may be one day…..

But will you come and help me cross this road?

It’s too dark to be alone here, and the blade’s just not sharp enough,

It was always meant to turn out this way and it’s time we right this wrong,

Bring that sweet blade of yours and pierce my heart,

Let’s take a look at the life after death and maybe I’ll meet you there one day once again,

We will be different, but I’ll know it’s you, I promise;

Just bring that blade and show me how you do it,

Because it’s too dark, it hurts too much and I can’t do it alone.

Shooting Star

Make a wish; Make a wish as a shooting star passes by in the darkest night

A wish to fulfill the dreams that may fade the line between what is real and what isn’t.
Our long cherished desire comes forth and lays a hand on the shoulder,

But this burden has been weighing for far too long now

For reasons yet to reveal in front of our closed eyes.

So make a wish towards the heavens to lift the veil

For we’ve been living a lie for far too long now and we won’t let go this chance of a shooting star.

For what it’s worth, we’d know that we tried,

May be not hard enough, but this burden is just too heavy on our souls.

All we did is to close our eyes and made a wish,

In the darkest night searching for a light in our lovers eyes

With regrets of our lost moments and all the misspoken words,

The truth we carried in our hearts but failed to utter.

Vague meanings of our emotions like some old forgotten scripture of past,

We silenced the hopes and wishes that were made.

Too scared to let go of the cowardice acts inscribed in the heart.

And a shooting star is our only hope, the last light to hold on to.

And make a wish; A wish for the strength to let go, to see through the eyes of our end.

This tiresome act of living has to end somewhere

This burden is just too heavy, and I’m ready for someone else to take over

For this is my wish of a shooting star, a wish to be dead and forgotten

Buried in all the regrets and without a remembrance.

Distant Shadows

A cloudless sky and a few distant shadows in the horizon

So far and yet so close, so close to our naked eyes.

Like the arbitrary thoughts that crosses the mind

So close but never to be captured with a conscious glance,

A few shadows and a droplet of rain, may be a dark night and a walk to the unknown

In the midnight, to the shadows or without a destination

It’s just another night in the life, a few dead wishes and birth of an old memory,

Just another walk to the horizon and may be this time it’ll be different.

The shadows will remain and reveal themselves to these eyes without any surprise,

And it’ll be time to rest finally, at the end of the day.

Yes just another night in this life, same old lies and a few arbitrary thoughts as always,

Another walk to forget what’s been burned into the memory,

Or may be to create new ones, whichever is easier

To erase or to create; at the end of the day it’s just another walk of life.

In a road less traveled, to see the shadows that’s been hiding there forever,

Under a cloudless sky at the end of this road.

May be then I'll close my eyes and let it rest to never open again,

I'll wrap myself with a comforting sheet of darkness to find some solace,

Some peace, away from my mind and all the thoughts that won’t leave me alone,

To take back what I’ve lost and to find something new,

At the feet of a dark night may be it’ll end and I won’t long to see those distant shadows again,

For I'll be one of them, waiting for someone else to find me and may be stay and never to go away.

A Life of Lies

Showers of lies and a fistful of heartfelt truth

Some buried memories of past and long empty roads of winter,

A lone traveler of dark roads leading nowhere,

And you have me in your palms looking down and wondering,

If only you knew what it means to be human and to feel the heartbeat of another,

We could see the summer again and feel the touch of an escaping ray of sun

Through those hair of yours, blowing in the wind,

We’d be in a beach somewhere, sand in our shoes,

Or just sitting there in the dark by ourselves.

Or maybe we could just dream all this sitting in a dirty city apartment,

Blaming our fate that we ended up like nothing

But we would still have ourselves and that dirty apartment would have been ours to share,

We could have everything or nothing at all,

It all leads to us being us, and it’s nothing without you, there is no “us”,

My nights are my own and so are the days,

Richest man in the city not having to share any of my dreams.

I have become a no one and no one really sees me wandering,

Like a ghost I’m here and I’m not, just a puff of smoke,

Waiting to be withered away with the next blow of wind.

Wish I could tell you the truth running through my veins

Wish I could cut open a wrist and be done with it all,

Just another story of a coward running away,

Wish it wouldn't have to end this way.

A Simple Prayer

Nothing gets easier with each passing days

Each day is like another nail in the coffin

I am like a pharaoh of the ancient times

Mummified and everything looks the same as it was from the outside

Though there’s nothing left of me

Just another nail in the coffin and I’ll be free finally

For being alive is a sin and forgive me father for I have sinned.

It’s time I let you go; with a toast of our glasses we’ll be free forever

Free and apart, we’ll float away like waves never knowing what it means to feel or touch.

Breathe in this earthy smell, for this is the last time.

Take your time o’ envious heaven, hold your fury,

Allow us a shred of what you are, for that is plenty for these souls

A glimpse and we’ll be at your feet, kneeling and ready to be led,

Breathe into these mummified souls with that sweet lips of yours.

Such a shame; I hear them say with a clink of the glasses,

You are free as we raise our glasses to you,

Looking up into those cold and dead eyes,

It’s too far from your feet, is that why we kneel before you?

So you can hide those eyes and not let us see,

That you don’t see us anymore, nor you feel

Standing back up I envy you, I envy you for being cold and dead,

There is not a single tear in your eyes, and your feet are washed by ours.

Bring down your hammer on us and let us be dead,

We kneel because we are tired, your love is lost

Just another nail in this coffin and we’ll be free,

Bring down your fury and let us be.

The Song of Despair

I wake up once again, only because I couldn't sleep forever even if I wanted to,

I wake up and sit on my bed wondering what to do now, asking myself is this it?

Just another cold morning, Instant coffee and a smoke some time later.

Life wasn't supposed to be like this, I never meant to be this way and still here we are,

Oh no, not you it’s only me; me and these broken shards of dreams showing it was never meant to be

Each day going through the motions with the strangers, pretending to be the “happy me”.

My books have already left me, writing’s so eager looking at the horizon beyond my hands that are too incapable,

Drawing was never there, still I am holding on to it just to kill the times in your absence

Drifting away from the grasp of a world that is too palpable.

Would've been a lie if I say you took my dreams away, as there were never any,

You only brought them back, but in broken pieces that haunts me every night.

All the relentless tries to make it whole again has gone in vain, as the dreams were never there, only the pain,

Walking these lonely miles, only the spear of darkness awaits ahead on a cold, snowy and quiet street,

Someone said something about being happy and marching as a soldier in an army fleet,

I wonder what he meant, as my mind’s twisted and the pictures in distant are grainy and bleak,

Must be a higher purpose for all this, says a preacher with a straight smile on his face

Said never to lose faith as he didn't, who sacrificed himself for you so that you can rest,

The words were lovely in a believers ears, as he could hold onto them praying as if they were real,

Never to reach this darkened soul that’s been sold for a dream and the perception of fear.

Now it’s time to pay off the debt, the collector’s here,

The debt of the memories that I borrowed and I know it’s the cross I’ll have to bear,

For the rest of my life in misery and despair.

“অর্থহীন”

জীবনের ফাঁকা রাস্তাতে যেন বসে আছি কষ্টের নিয়ন  সাইনের নীচে

যতখানি চাওয়া যায়, পিছনে ফিরে চেয়ে দেখি পুরো গল্পটাই আমার ভুল নিয়ে

লেখার জন্য যে আমার লুকানো অনুভূতি, তাও আজ খুঁজে ফিরি  তোমার অবর্তমানে

কোন কথায় আজ পরেনা মনে, শব্দগুলোও যেন দিশেহারা,

এত চেষ্টাতেও বুঝেনা কি চাই আমি বোঝাতে,

তবু বসে একা রাতে, আমার ফাকা ঘরে যখন তোমায় পরে মনে

কিছু মনে হয় লিখি তোমায় নিয়ে, কোন মানে নেই, নেই কোন কথাও, শুধু কিছু লেখা

পুরানো কিছু স্মৃতি নিয়ে, পূঁজোর বেদীতে ছড়ানো কিছু শিউলী ফুলের মত যেন লজ্জায় মাথা নোওয়াই

সব বড়ো নামদের ভিড়ে

তবু বসে একা ঘরে, আমার একার অন্ধকারে, যখন তোমায় পরে মনে,

মনে হয় তুমি আছ, তাই লিখি তোমায় নিয়ে

বলবে, “বড় আমি তুমি ধরনের লেখা”, কোন গভীরতা নেই এই মনটা তে,

কি আর করা বলো, ভেবে দেখনি তো একবার ও

কখনো করনি একবার জীজ্ঞেশ ও, কেন এত ভাবি তোমায় নিয়ে,

বলেছিলে রোবট আমি, কোন অনুভূতি নেই এই ফাঁকা মনটা তে,

পেরেছি কি বোঝাতে আজ শেষ কালে, কেন আমি রোবট থাকি,

পারি না খুলে বোঝাতে

আমার গোপন ঝড়ের রাতে, কোন ঘর ভাঙে আর গড়ে,

তাই আছি বসে একা আমি, আমার একার একাকী ঘরের মাঝে, রাত হলেই যেখানে পড়ে তোমায় মনে

চলে গেলে তুমি সব নিয়ে, চাওনি কিছুই জানি তবু ভুলে দিয়ে ফেলে এখন চাইনা আর ফেরাতে

গীটার এর টুং টাং সুরের মতো অদৃশ্য তুমি, চিরকাল তাই ছিলে, 

তবু সুরের আবেশ ছিল আমায় ঘিরে

তাই বসে আজ একা রাতে, জোর করে কিছু লিখি তোমায় নিয়ে

যদি আসে ফিরে সেই সুর, কোন এক ভুলের মূর্হুতে,

কখনো জানবে না তুমি রোজ রাতে, আমার মনের মাঝে ঝড়ে কোন স্মৃতি খুজেঁ ফেরে।

“মন খারাপের ঝুলি”

প্রায়ই কেন এমন হয়, হঠাৎ করেই রোদেলা দিনের মুখে কে যেন কালি লেপ্টে দেয়,

একটু আগেই ছিল ভীষণ আলো ঝলমলে দিনের মতন, সবই যেন রঙিন, সবই চেনা,

সবকিছুতেই ভালোবাসার ঊষ্ণ ছোঁয়া,

হঠাৎই কেন এমন হয়, মাঝরাতের নিশুতি নীরব, ভীষণ একা মনের মাঝে, শীতের রাতের ঠান্ডা ছোঁয়া,

তোমারো কি হয় এমন হঠাৎ করেই মনের মাঝে বিষণ্ণতার আলতো ছোঁয়া?

অচেনা সব দুঃখ গুলো শোনায় কথা, নতুন পুরানো সবই যেন শুধু একটি রঙেই রাঙা।

ছোট্টবেলার আঁকা ছবি, আজও ভাসে মনের মাঝে, পুরানো সেই রং তুলিতে কতই ছিল রঙিন আশা,

মনের মাঝে এখন শুধুই সেই পুরানো ছবির ছায়া, রংধনুর রং হারিয়েছে সেই কবেই, এখন শুধুই কালো আর সাদা।

তবু আমার পাওয়ার সংখ্যাও ফেলনা নয় একেবারেই,

অনেক কিছুই হয়নি পাওয়া, অনেক কিছুই চায়নি পেতে, কে রাখে তার হিসাব বলো,

যখন হাত বারালেই তোমার ছোঁয়া,

নাকি আমার কল্পনাতেই তুমি ছিলে, হয়নি কখনওই তোমায় পাওয়া,

তাই বুঝি আজ শীতের রাতে অনুতাপের তপ্ত হাওয়া,

এও খারাপ নয়, একলা চলা, রাতের পথে অন্ধকারে হাতে নিয়ে খাতা বন্দী মন খারাপের কথা।